write something later. :=)
It probably seems like this blog isn’t very important to me. I don’t update, I make random posts then disappear for a long time, etc. The truth is, this blog is extremely important to me. It’s so important that I often find myself wandering this way, then removing myself as far as I can from my words. I delete and erase, then compromise by making drafts I never publish.
I guess I’m a little scared.
Bear with me, ok? I know it gets really old coming back to a blog and not seeing any new posts, but I *promise* you that, if you’re still interested, I am going to get back into my groove.
On a separate note and just as a heads up: I’m going to trek back over some of my past (some is good and some of it is downright ugly, some is embarrassing and some makes me pretty proud) and I will keep you updated on the now (I can’t complain! Life is far from perfect, but it’s good). I don’t always use linear time-lines or clear-cut-to-the-point stories. Sometimes I do, but other times (as some of you know) I jump around, use strange analogies, and often click “publish” with a mental prayer that my readers can sort out what the hell it is I am trying to say. ;=P
Anyway, I’m just in the mood to say “hey, I am still here” and I still have A LOT to say.
I’ve been beating around the bush far too long. Like I said, I think most of it was just being too scared to say what I really want to say. But you know what? I remember so clearly the happiness and excitement I felt when I started this blog. I remember the hope and joy, and yes ..the days that weren’t so good, too. But it was all OK because I had this new outlet and I was going to write and tell my story and post random crap about my day and just be me! Yeah… Ummm…. I didn’t exactly do that. BUT!! Like I said, I remember the excitement and all, and I want IT. I want this blog so much. I want to vent and rant and rave and cry and laugh and share and pout and smile and make you all happy and sad and mad at me! ;-P
I’ve done some really GOOD things in my life, I’ve done stupid shit, too. I’ve shared my life with the good, the bad, the ugly, a mixture of all those
and some really good people, too … some truly beautiful souls (and some didn’t know just how beautiful they were/are or how deeply they have affected me. too bad. wish I could change that.)
Maybe there isn’t one single person out there who really cares about reading what I have to write, but there might be. And even if there isn’t, I am dying to just SAY what I need to say and write and keep this blog going and not worry about how and who and when and where and whatever.
Damn, I miss my own nonsense, lol.
I’ll be back
xo

